last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize