yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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