best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
