We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
