so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
