It's Friday. Sex?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize