remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize