You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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