i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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