Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
