so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
