If i come over, it means nothing
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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