so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
