brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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