somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think I died a long time ago.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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