K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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