Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
