let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
