he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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