he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
