Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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