Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
