Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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