u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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