FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
