Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
