I wish I could punch you in the face.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
