I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
