tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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