White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
