You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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