This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize