what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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