Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize