Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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