So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
