if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Boobs are out for the taking
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
