I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
