if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
