The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
