3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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