Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
