Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Your cock deserves a montage
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
