Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
