would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
