He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
