I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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