Porn is love you can see.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
