Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
