I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
