So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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