before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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