are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
