I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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