What a fucking waste of an outfit
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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