The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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