what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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