Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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