i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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